[SERay]

Two points regarding your post.

A) The Grandmother most likely does not know Christ, nor this person posting. Just because someone says they go to church doesn’t mean they are Christians. First and foremost, forgiveness is the other side of the coin of love, and each give testimony to the other. If I say I love people but don’t forgive others, I deceive myself. If I claim I am rightly positioned in Christ, but do not forgive another, again, I deceive myself. It is quite one thing to struggle with resentment, while realizing one should forgive someone, quite another for a person to say I will never forgive them. It is possible for a person to be a new convert and struggle with the choice, but anyone who has been approached by the church about forgiveness has had sufficient truth presented according the Scripture. They are without excuse and shall face dire spiritual consequences internally and potentially eternally.

B) You may or may not be able to help this person. Except a person be granted a new nature through Christ’s residing Spirit, they cannot possibly comprehend the spiritual truths like a regenerated soul can. The spiritual truths Christ taught are foreign to the world’s way of thinking. A worldly mind cannot comprehend spiritual precepts and all efforts to convey them will meet with scorn.

It is never anyone’s place stating who will or will not go to hell. Maybe a person might be on a fast track to it, but anything can happen to steer them into being the most profound Saint. Therefore, if anyone declares who is going to hell, they are speaking without the Spirit’s counsel.

You may recall Alexander Pope’s well-known words: “To err is human, to forgive — divine.”

Matthew 6:14-15 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” And indeed, this concept would conclude that a person is flirting with eternal separation from God because: If you are in Christ, forgiveness is not an option, if you are not in Christ, forgiveness is an option testifying that the person probably is not saved thus potentially bound for eternal separation.

St. Matthew’s Gospel, for example, includes the parable of the king — evidently an image for God — who had a servant who was greatly in debt to him. He decided to punish him, but he was moved with pity when the man pleaded for more time to pay, and so cancelled the debt. But this servant then met a fellow servant who owed him a trifling sum. He demanded to be paid, and when this man in his turn asked for more time, he refused and had him thrown into prison. When the king heard, he reacted severely and had him punished. He told him: “Were you not bound to have pity on your fellow servant just as I had pity on you?” Matthew 18: 21-35.

In that same Gospel passage, Peter asks Jesus how often we are expected to forgive. “As often as seven times?” he inquires. “Not seven, I tell you,” comes the reply, “but seventy-seven times.” Jesus is not advising Peter to keep counting, so that on the seventy-eighth occasion he can retaliate. He is teaching him that there is no limit to the forgiveness he should offer. That is what reveals forgiveness as divine.

C.S. Lewis observed, “Forgiveness is a beautiful word, until you have something to forgive.”

In Paul’s second letter to the Corinthian church the Apostle stresses the importance of forgiving others of their offense against us so that Satan will not get an advantage in our lives. Refusing to forgive others is like building a four-lane highway with no speed limit signs for Satan to take control of our lives. And take control he does. Failure to forgive creates chains of emotional and spiritual bondage.

Forgiveness is a choice we have to make by our own will, but it is empowered and made complete by the residing Holy Spirit. God instructs us to forgive. We must choose to face and deal with the hurt in order to forgive from the heart. There are times we may say, I just cannot forgive that person for what they did. Is that really true? The truth is, we may not feel like forgiving, but we can choose to forgive. Why? Because God has told us to and he will not tell us to do something that we are not able to do.

It is very difficult for us to simply forgive. We have that sense of justice within us that tells us that this particular wrong must be made right. Remember this, God is absolutely just and righteous, but he forgives our sins on the basis what his son did on the cross of Calvary, and he tells us to forgive on the same basis.

We rejoice in God’s gracious forgiveness of our sin against him. But then we are often unwilling to grant that same gracious forgiveness to others. We want revenge for wrongs done to us. We want our “pound of flesh.” But the Bible tells us not to seek revenge. Romans 12:19 says, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”

It is also possible and often necessary to forgive but not seek communion with a violent or abusive offender. forgiveness is about letting a situation go and not allowing it to have power to control or interfere with your life. If what the person has done is violent or abusive conduct that results in damage to yourself or others, then it may be prudent not to allow them back in your life to cause more harm. Especially if it is a cycle of remorse followed by repeat behavior. In this one can surmize the offender has deep problems that need assistance. However, first and foremost, the concept of forgiveness is to release all judgment, malice, ill will and contempt against another, and to freely receive them again as a part of your life. There are many variables to any situation, and each has to be approached uniquely in accordance to Scripture.

The bottom line is forgiveness is as much an issue between us and God as it is between us and the offender. When we struggle with forgiveness, we need to remember the cross. Consider God’s amazing example of forgiveness and be willing to do the same.